Today, I unconsciously demonstrated gender, age and race biases.

I write this with as much self-awareness and humility as possible. Today, I unconsciously demonstrated gender, age and race biases.

My friend encouraged me to get a self-care massage ASAP, but my regular person and my back-up person were both booked for days. I made an appointment with someone new (appointment was made when I was in a bad headspace, and I did not do my research like I normally would, thank goodness).

Two hours before my appointment, I realized it was a male therapist, and I had a mini freakout. I did not want to be in a private room, mostly naked, with a male, despite this being his profession. I tried to CANCEL it, but I was not within the cancellation policy. I sucked it up and went. *and if you, like me, are a woman who prefers to be treated by another woman, your feelings and preferences are TOTALLY valid!

I entered a borderline "sketchy" establishment and thought, "This is how I will die."

I immediately saw that he was middle/older aged, and I became more uncomfortable. He introduced himself with a heavy accent with a name I cannot pronounce, and I wanted to run out the door.

Instead, I went through with the massage. IT WAS THE BEST MASSAGE OF MY LIFE. I am ditching my regular therapist (sorry) and making ALL my appointments with him (doesn't hurt that he is $30 cheaper, and my skin feels like HEAVEN). We even made small talk, which I try to avoid at ALL costs.

I called my mom on the way home, and I was quite ashamed. I said, "I judged this person based on his gender, his age, his name, his accent, and his building."

So often, I hear people say in defense, "I am not racist!" Racism is not a "check yes, check no" thing. It is a spectrum. Do I consider myself racist? Absolutely not. Do I have racial biases? Hell yeah, I do. And I am working to unlearn them. Being AWARE of them is the very first step.

I wanted to be with someone "more like me" (a woman, younger in age, without a language barrier). Does that make me a monster? I hope not. But, was this a growth opportunity? Absolutely.

I do not want to tag his page, for shame of judging him, but if you need an EXCELLENT, AFFORDABLE massage therapist in Louisville, let me know!

#racism #unconciousbias #massagetherapy #personalgrowth