How much more proof do I need to provide?

Last week, I crossed the street to check the mail. Bills. Coupons. Spam. Letter from the Archdiocese of Louisville. My heart sank.

“Will this be the letter stating that my marriage has been nullified in the eyes of the Church?” I asked myself. Though I'd like to be, I am not fully emotionally prepared for that slap in the face. I didn’t even make it back to the house before I plopped down on the driveway and opened the letter.

The petition has been “accepted” and is moving onto the “Tribunal.” The “Joinder of Issues” is taking place today, April 24, and in efforts to “respect my rights,” I have been “invited to attend.”

I reached out to the “Advocate” that was assigned to me, though I don’t particularly feel like anyone is advocating for me, other than myself.

I had questions. She promptly provided answers.

I will not be attending the “Joinder of Issues,” as it's just a bunch of old white men (yes, I looked them up) who have never been married signing paperwork that will eventually decide whether my marriage was valid.

Today, April 24, this was on my Facebook memories from eight years ago. How ironic:

I have received some demeaning comments regarding the marriage retreat, and while I shouldn't address them, I'm going to:

Yesterday, we both woke up dreading it. No, it's not a "fun" way to spend a Saturday. But I'm glad we did it [for non-religious reasons, too] and here's why:

We are 24 years old, making a decision that will last a LIFETIME. At the retreat, we were counseled by couples who have way more experience at marriage than we do. They were able to ask us questions we haven't even thought about! Do you believe you can look at your phone and listen to your spouse at the same time? Is spanking children an appropriate form of discipline? How much money are you willing to spend on pets? Is it OK to take selfies with the opposite sex and post them on social media?

I want to eliminate the stigma that couples who receive counseling are in relationships that are unhappy or broken. For us, the retreat was a great place to explore new areas and grow in our understanding of each other. We felt we were in an open, non-judgmental environment and left feeling happy and prepared for marriage.

Do I respect couples who choose not to participate in a marriage retreat? Absolutely. Please don't mock our decision to do so.

How much more proof do I need to provide before the Church accepts that we entered marriage willingly, mindfully, and without coercion?