One year ago, my whole world crumbled. IT HAS BEEN A BLAST!

One year ago today (November 15, I am publishing a day early), my whole life was swept from under me, and quite frankly, I lost my entire identity. At just 30 years old, it felt like my life was over. The future I envisioned for myself, gone. Just gone. Forever. In the blink of an eye.

I did not know then, and perhaps not for months later, that my life was not over. In fact, it was just beginning. Due to my “circumstances,” I was forced to pursue a new life. Not the life I envisioned, but a different one. A better one. A fulfilling one. A harder one. But a richer one.

In 365 days, I can confidently say that I likely would have never done the following things had my life stayed, as I wanted it to, status quo.

1. Went to a local dive bar on NYE by myself. Kissed a stranger.

2. Started this blog.

3. Lived, for the first time (outside of a three-month internship) entirely by myself. At times, it can be lonely and boring, but I really love it.

4. Vacationed to Florida with a near-stranger (now boyfriend of seven months).

5. Went ice skating in an actual rink (as opposed to the lake, as a kid).

6. I went to a University of Louisville hockey game. I could go the rest of my life and never want to watch hockey again.

7. Took a cooking class.

8. Started scrapbooking.

9. Took a solo trip to Cincinnati to stay in a shared living space (I did not last the entire night, because I thought the mansion was haunted, nor did I get my money refunded, but I tried something new and outside of my comfort zone!)

10. Rekindled my relationship with my best friend in the world, after a silly falling out.

11. Started a monthly girls’ dinner.

12. Made new friends.

13. Played in volleyball tournaments with new people. Hi, Lori and Paula!

14. Joined a book club.

15. I started writing my own book.

16. Played Buzzed Bingo with a date who ghosted me after.

17. Started a bowling league at work. Hi, it’s me. I’m your team captain, it’s me!

18. Spent an entire week at my brother’s house, while he cared for me and forced me to eat.

19. Tried to pick up running. Lasted two days. I hated it so much.

20. Went to a casino!

21. Gambled! (With Brad’s money, so it probably doesn’t count).

22. Visited The Great American Ballpark for the first time.

23. Utilized the public transit system in Chicago. Rode so many trains!

24. Went to a sold-out concert at Wrigley Field.

25. Went to Huber’s Orchard and Winery.

26. Won a pumpkin painting contest.

27. Discovered ‘Sweet Oliver Sweet Red’ – the only wine to this day that I like.

28. Sat in a “box” at the Yum! Center for a University of Louisville volleyball game. Listened to Coach Dani’s “Chalk Talk” – reserved for just a few select fans 😊

29. Was introduced to new (to me) shows like Schitt’s Creek, King of the Hill and Weeds.

30. Was introduced to “Moon” by Kanye West (to hell with him) by a guy who also would end up ghosting me (hell to you, B). But this song got me through some VERY hard times.

31. Went to Polly’s Freeze, a staple and historic ice cream place in Georgetown, Indiana.

32. Killed a bunch of bugs because I am a strong, independent woman.

33. Went to a Motion City Soundtrack concert.

34. Explored the Clifton area via many, many walks.

35. Went to an IU football game and sat right on the sideline.

36. Frequented the Crescent Hill Public Library. I love it!

37. Went on a hike to Ohio Falls.

38. Took Bruiser on a doggy date with Dino, whose owner would ….. you guessed it, GHOST ME! (Are you noticing a pattern?)

39. Realized there is life outside of volleyball, and that volleyball should bring me JOY, not pain.

40. Explored (and discovered) intimacy! (This is my ‘I know my mom is reading this’ phrasing).

41. Changed roles at work to better accommodate my skills and emotional needs.

42. Assembled a dining room set by myself.

43. Went camping in Frenchburg, KY – hiked, listened to music under the stars, and slept in the bed of a truck.

44. Started individual therapy and learned a few invaluable coping techniques.

45. Attended a “listening party” for Taylor’s Swift’s ‘Midnights’ album with my Reddit “friends.”

46. Shopped at Lush.

47. Started playing Wordle, which has actually been a great tool for my anxiety.

48. Learned that I absolutely do want to be a mother one day (I was always ambivalent about the idea before).

49. Listed 100 things I love about myself.

50. Booked a trip to Cincinnati to see T. Swift in concert with two new friends!

51. Lost 20 pounds. Gained 35 back.

52. Re-discovered my self-worth (though, this is a work in progress).

To everyone who invited me to things, thank you. To everyone who forced me out of the house, thank you. To everyone who saw me at my absolute worst and stuck around, thank you. I don't have many people in my corner, but my corner is fierce.

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