Chicago preface + more dating advice that no one should EVER follow.

As I mentioned in my last blog, there is some deep-rooted trauma surrounding my birthday, which is September 6. There is also trauma attached to a specific geographic location—Chicago.

I knew I wanted to take a vacation (likely solo) for my birthday, but I didn't know what I wanted it to entail. I already knew that the annual AVP tournament (professional beach volleyball) takes places in Chicago every Labor Day weekend, but part of me really, really, really did *not* want to return to a location that triggers me.

I then happened to discover that my FAVORITE band, the Lumineers, would be playing at WRIGLEY FIELD that weekend, and that sealed the deal. I thought it would be some good symbolism or omen or something ... by being brave enough to return to Chicago, on that date specifically, I was refusing to let my past define my future.

I booked everything. On the spot. I didn't even have anyone to go with me. This was back in May, and Brad and I hadn't even been dating a whole month (but I knew Chicago was his favorite city in America).

I honestly don't know how dating as an adult works. The last time I dated, I was just a college kid in my early twenties. Dating consisted of going to the bar and studying together and expecting to break up the next week. As a 30-year-old, adult woman, my only dating experience consisted of men .... just disappearing. Not showing up for planned dates and never hearing from them again.

I was a rookie dater, but I was smart enough (barely) to know that mentioning September plans in May, to a guy you just STARTED dating, probably wasn't a brilliant idea.

So, I did it anyway.

"Brad, if we are still together in September, do you want to go to Chicago with me?"

He was more put off that I used the phrase, 'if we are still together,' than by me making plans four months in advance. He called me the next day.

"What are the dates for Chicago? I am requesting PTO," he said.

"BRAD, I have not even requested PTO MYSELF!"

"Well, it's a holiday weekend, and I want to make sure I get that time off before anyone else does."

And, that's when I knew that this guy didn't have any intention to just disappear.

Next blog, I will talk about the actual trip!